It seems like couples everywhere are calling it quits and ending marriages in divorce at an alarming rate. Thinking about the divorce of loved ones, or yourself, elicits a sense of pity, remorse, and even fear. The stigma of divorce can be even scarier than the actual process, preventing many couples from taking the steps necessary to achieve genuine happiness.
It’s important to point out that divorce doesn’t have to be ALL bad. In fact, it can even be good or great. Calling it quits is hard and undoubtedly ends with heartache, but there are also many benefits to a split that can help a newly single individual come out stronger on the other end.
- Lose a partner, gain a friend.
Right now it may seem like your partner is the last person on the planet that you’d ever want to see, let alone be friends with. But many exes are able to rekindle a civil, and even pleasant friendship with a former spouse.
What initially pulled you together as lovers may not work anymore, but a history of shared experiences and common interests, not to mention kids, was the basis of a relationship that once was.
With a divorce in place and some much needed time apart, moving your relationship forward into a supportive friendship can be possible. Setting aside the bitterness for each other or the kids sake may be just the key to forming separate lives sans the drama.
- It’s better for the kids too.
That old myth about staying together for the kids because divorce is shameful and so on? The 1950’s are over and the kids deserve better.
Children that come from a home that is calm and filled with people that love each other will fare far better than those from a tumultuous, “intact” family.
While the initial fear of judgment from outsiders may seem daunting, it’s important to think about what the little people in your life need most. They need love, attention and a few things to keep them happy – reputation and ego not necessary.
- Opportunity to find yourself – again.
The person you were when you leaped into marriage 5, 10, or 20 years ago has significantly changed, and you may not even recognize it. Time and energy invested into toxic relationships have a way of sucking us in until we forget what truly makes us who we are.
It’s time to get to know you again. What are you interested in? When is the last time you met up with an old friend? Did something just for you? Indulged in a nap, even?
Use your spare time to volunteer, take up a new hobby, go back to school, or take a trip. Learn about what makes you, you. Enjoy it and embrace it.
- You call the shots. Yes, all of them.
The constant fights, dashed hopes, canceled plans, and missed dates are things of the past. You call ALL the shots now. No more skewed compromising, no more arguing.
Sure, it can be scary at first. Oftentimes we use a relationship, even a bad one, as a crutch to avoid taking full control of our own lives. Have confidence in yourself and your abilities as a self-sufficient adult and you’ll soon find that bounce in your step.
Don’t want to cook dinner? Ice cream it is. Don’t feel like taking out the garbage? It can wait. Don’t want to watch another terrible movie your partner picks? You guessed it – don’t.
Yeah try that on for size, it feels good. Really good.
- There are financial benefits too.
When most people think about divorce, they see dollar signs. Expensive lawyer fees, responsibility for all household bills, the list goes on. But in truth, a bad marriage can be far more expensive.
With new control over the household, you won’t have to stress over someone else’s spending, gambling or carelessness and can put that money into savings or worthwhile expenditures.
You can devote attention to helping a child save for college. Children of divorced parents can even be eligible for more federal aid. Extra money can be put away for retirement and benefits as a single adult may be accessed at a younger age.
Remember, financial success isn’t just for married couples. Renewed focus and determination can help you through the sticky divorce period and help you achieve financial independence free of debt and anxiety.
We Know How To Help
Calling it quits isn’t something to rush into, but it certainly shouldn’t be avoided at the expense of future happiness. While the immediate burden of a divorce may seem overwhelming, the long-term gain of establishing a life of independence and success is priceless.
If you are struggling with the decision of a divorce, give the Von Esch Law Group a call at (714) 456-9118 for some clarity on how we will make the proceedings considerate for everyone involved.
