Child custody cases can be some of the most trying times of an adults’ life, but often times it’s much harder for your children. When entering into mediations, it’s important to remember why you want to be with your kids, and take an honest look at whether this is going to benefit the children or you more.


Do It for Them

In most child custody cases, both parents are of the same mind when it comes to the children and an agreement is made easily. That being said, many cases can become aggressive and turn out doing more harm than good to your kids.


When it is a matter of money, spite, or revenge, the outcome is almost always a very confused and injured heart of the child. The same can be said about cases where the child is given to one parent due to the negligence of the other (whether they live an unsavory lifestyle or suffer from addiction.) The thing to remember here is that your child views you both as their parents, so if there is a chance to be fair, try to take it.


If, however, the other parent is truly unfit, do absolutely everything in your power to keep your child safe. This doesn’t mean that you should be malicious, but supply evidence to their incompetence if possible. Also, if they are dealing with drug issues, remember that they may get clean in the future and give them a chance when they are doing well.


Remember Why You Had Children

Most parents get wrapped up in the now, and that’s totally understandable, but try remembering why you had children in the first place. Even in cases of unplanned pregnancy, you still tried to raise your child to be the best version of themselves that they could possibly be.


Having children is creating an extension of the two of you, and a child custody case can bring out the worst in both of you. Don’t let this happen!


Bad mouthing your ex-spouse and bringing your child into the drama of your ending relationship does nothing but make them grow up too quickly and give them a cynical outlook of the world.


Instead, reassure your children that you’re going through this time because of your relationship and that it has nothing to do with them. Even if the other parent is a terrible person, shield them from that, it’s your job as a parent to let them make up their own mind when they are old enough to understand everything.



Remember Why You Got Together

Depending on the nature of the split, you may not be very inclined to look at your ex-lover with a very kind eye; but do try to remember the good times. Bad things can happen in life, but you two got together and had children together because there was something good between you once.


Try to rekindle this, and use it to be a better person during a child custody battle. It does nothing for your child to try to tear them away from the other parent just because you can no longer love each other but hurt them


They will be the ones growing up without a mother or father when you take full custody for selfish reasons. If they are a good parent, reward your children by keeping them in their lives. Even if they aren’t a good partner, your children will benefit from having two different outlooks on life to influence their future.


Call Us

If you are struggling with the decision of a divorce because of the child custody case that will follow, give the Von Esch Law Group a call at (714) 456-9118 for some clarity on how we will make the proceedings considerate for everyone involved.